One Eyed Kutkh

It seems that I went on a Gamerscore-specific buying splooge at some point in the distant past and it also turns out that that some of them are an absolute pile of wank. The series sort of started with Your Toy but after playing another four of these ‘easy Gamerscore’ recommendations, of which One Eyes Kutkh was the second I’ve played, this is effectively the one that started the trend of shittiness once I realised what was happening.

So, on to One Eyed Kutkh. You are an alien with one eye. I never figured out if Kutkh was its name, race or whatever but it doesn’t really matter. The point is, he can’t talk, and he crashes his spaceship into a planet despite pressing many buttons, none of which are the ‘instantly fix spaceship’ button.

Once on the planet, which is a Tardis in terms of size, you distract the sun and the moon and steal their ships. But it doesn’t work and then the planet’s natural inhabitants need to fix the shit you’ve broken. In terms of a story that offers something, it doesn’t do that. The whole moral aspect appears to be don’t fuck shit up in someone else’s house so I’m not sure if the game is designed as a life lesson for kids but it’s stupidly weird and not fun.

Gameplay wise, it’s supposed to be a puzzle game, but it suffers from modern puzzle game syndrome in that it’s either not challenging and closer to a walking simulator or so fucking obscure there’s no logical way to work out what you’re supposed to do. To be fair, One Eyed Kutkh doesn’t suffer too much from this last one. It just suffers from being shit.

Musically and graphically it can fuck off. It’s just poor and annoying in every aspect. Thankfully, I only had to put up with it for less than an hour.

Achievements – 1,000 Points – 10 Achievements

So less than an hour’s gameplay and the minimum amount of achievements for the Xbox One – clearly very short and there’s also not a lot extra to do. 2 of the achievements are story related and can’t be missed but the other 8 require specific actions in the game world. However, none of them are secret so it at least tells you what you need to do. There’s not a lot to it and with a guide, it pretty much becomes a walking simulator.

Downloadable Content – N/A

As is the start of a theme, One Eye Kutkh is short, shit and non-sensical. The only selling point is the easy Gamerscore and the fact that the game is over relatively quickly. It’s priced at £3.99 so at least it’s not over the top in terms of cost.